Submitted by cock_sucker last October 14th 2007, 02:10 AM

Category: Sex Stories

Johnny loved engaging in sexual acts with other males what he didn't like was being gay. So for the two years since he left high school he had been endlessly debating with himself questions of his sexuality. Any rational person who considered a fraction of the evidence could only conclude that Johnny was queer and had been all his life.

At this point in his life Johnny would sometimes concede he might be a bisexual only because he couldn't rationalize away the fact that his favorite sex act was sucking cock and being sodomized was a close second. Straight guys don't suck cock for sexual release.

Johnny had just got back from the adult bookstore on 5th with a new gay video. The theme was ass fucking and huge cocks. Two of the six featured studs were Black and one was Latino. A diversity of cock. All the bun boys were White. It seemed like a lot of White guys got off being sex slaves for well hung masculine and dominate Black or Latino males. In reality for most White guys it was mostly fantasy. A porn movie was as close as they got to the kind sexual submission practiced in the hard core world.

There are dominate Black males with an attitude and a thick ten plus inch cock who fantasize about taking charge of willing submissive White bun boys. Sex with a racial edge can be an incredible sexual experience. Johnny had made it with quite a few Black guys and a couple of Latinos. It could get rough.

Thinking about the movie and his sexual experiences he decided to jack off to it latter. He took his notebook out from it's hiding place and went to his desk. He had been writing for years but would periodically destroy his work. He didn't want anyone knowing his private sexual thoughts and fantasies. He had been writing in this notebook for a record three months. A psychoanalyst would conclude from this behavior that Johnny was denying the truth to himself by destroying his notebook. When he was being honest Johnny did too.

Early on Johnny had dismissed the sexual experiences he had as a boy as nothing more than youthful experimentation. It was a well known fact that many straight guys had a same-sex experience when growing up. That was the rational he used to dismiss any sexuality that was homosexual. The problem Johnny was having with that rational was that he didn't have just one or a few same-sex sexual experiences it was well over a hundred. Why couldn't he just admit it?

He had given guys hand jobs. He like touching cocks. He got hard when he put on his sisters panties and sexy things. By his last year in high school he was sucking cock on a regular basis in the back seats of cars, in tool sheds, bathrooms and anywhere he thought he wouldn't get caught. He left his home town because he couldn't deal with the rumors about himself. Even his sister had heard things. She told him as far as she was concerned it didn't matter if he was gay or not that she would love him all the same. She understood why he was leaving town and gave him some extra money. He started to cry and she held him. He didn't deny he was gay and he didn't admit it either. He hopped she would never find out he had sucked her boyfriend's cock more than once. He actually loved his sister.

He started to write and couldn't get started. He didn't want to watch the movie and jack off. He decided to go to the gay bar a few blocks from his apartment. He lived in a converted five apartment brownstone building on a street that was just outside the "official" gay area. In reality he lived in the gay area. Half the 10 apartments were leased by gays. He had been hit on a number of times but didn't want an open relationship as a gay man. Through, if Andrew had pursued him any longer he would have given in. How many nights had he masturbated fantasizing about having sex with Andrew. Too many.

As he he came down the stairs from his second floor back apartment his heart stopped. Andrew was coming in the front door with a really cute guy. "Oh shit", Johnny thought, "He has his arm around him". Andrew smiled and introduced Bobby who Johnny was convinced was Andrew's new boyfriend. "Another sign, straight guys don't get jealous when a gay guy you could have had a chance with gets a new boyfriend ", he thought as he walked in the cold night towards the gay bar.

The bar was had an English pub style front and was called "The Cock and Balls". The sign had a big rooster on it with three balls in an arrangement that at one time signified a pawn shop. It had nothing to do with the cock and balls the patrons inside were interested in.

When you came in the front door you were in a large entry way ten feet wide and 20 feet deep. Right by the door were two bouncers seated at a table who checked IDs, collected the cover charge and stamped your wrist. To the right was a door that opened into the bar area which could handle a good 70 guys at the bar or in booths. The door on the left opened into the club side which was many times larger,had it's own bar, tables, booths and a dance floor. There was also a game room off the bar where patrons could play pool, shoot darts, video games and old fashion pin ball.

At the end of the entry way were two rest rooms one was marked women. The law required at least one women's room. The only women that came into this place had cocks and used any bathroom they pleased. Also, there was room for a limited number of guys to hang out in the entry and see what new meat was combing in. The "Cock and Balls" was above all a cruising bar.

As Johnny turned to enter the club area he felt someone grab his arm, "If you weren't so cute and so good in bed I would slap you hard for standing me up you bitch. I could have gone with Kurt last night but I waited and waited and waited for you. I couldn't call you because you won't give anyone your number. I have issues with you. What have you got to say." Shit, he had been so hung up for the past few days on the am I gay bull that he had just forgot that he had made a date with Jamie. "Jamie, I am so sorry I issues with my self. Let go to my apartment and everything will be clear."

They had passed into the club. Jamie pulled Johnny over to a booth. They sat next to each other. "Let me get this straight", Jame started, "You asking me to your apartment is that right? I don't believe it?" Johnny's head was spinning, "Look, Jamie I actually like you for more than sex which is a first for me. I know for a long time I have been anonymous not letting anyone know much about me. Maybe it is time for change. I came in here looking for sex and right now I really need a friend" They were both quite for a few minutes.

Jamie was looking away from him thinking. When he turned around he looked right at in his eyes and was serious, "OK, I will go with you because I am curious about you. I came here looking for sex and the guy I have had hot and hard relentless sex with has unknown issues and I don't know like complications yet for some reason I kind of like you too. Let's go I am curious about where you live."

As they left "The Cock and Balls" Johnny realized they were holding hands. "What the hell he through" he looked at Jamie and smiled a sad smile. Jamie recognized the sadness leaned over and kissed him on the lips gently and said softly, "Whatever it is Johnny I will help you if I can".

"Wow, I'm impressed", Jamie said as they walked into the converted brownstone. Johnny's apartment was in a elegant turn of the 20th century mansion. The entry way and halls were wide and elegant with expensive rugs and elegant decor. "My god I never expected your apartment would be like this. Are you rich? Your so young. I'm sorry I have no right to ask do I?" Jamie said. "I have some money and I am almost 21. I like art deco and have the money for it. I will tell you about the money sometime. Can I get you a drink? Coffee, tea, wine, beer, soda, juice, water?" Johnny offered. "How about juice I think I may need to be sober with you".

They were setting in the living room in front of the burning fireplace sipping grapefruit juice. Jamie had been reading the notebook for half an hour intently. He looked at Johnny and addressed him in a stunned and serious voice. "Can you tell me what I just read in a few sentences because I can but I would like to get to the point right away".

"It just happens that I can, Jamie. I am gay, have been gay for all my life, I have known it and have lied to myself in every imaginable way. What you read is how I lie to myself." Jamie threw the book in the fire and said "I guess you don't need this anymore and both broke out in hysterical laugher and then Johnny started to cry. Jamie lead him to the couch and held him. Johnny cried for a long time then looked up at Jamie and they kissed as friends.

"I need to sleep" Johnny said" but I don't want to be alone. i will be myself in the morning." "Sure, Johnny, I'll sleep on the couch. And you right you will be yourself in the morning for the first time in your life. You will make me breakfast and we will talk if you want."