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Submitted by cocklover90 last February 18th 2008, 10:02 AM
At the beginning of my senior year i went to the counsalor's office to change my schedule to get out of the html class and work in a department somewhere.....well i expected to work in the office but they put me in the Athletic Department and i hate athletics. Well i have the athletic class 7th period plus the activity period at the end of the day so thats in hour in thirty minute class of sitting in there.....so i get to the class and all the guys are already in there getting change for athletics and i got to the coaches office and he said yes they told me you were coming but you are going to have to work in the athletic room and then he told the players to get out on the field....after 2 hours of watching them practice they came back to the lockerrooms and coach told me to get started, so i went to the lockerroom and all the guys were all standing by their lockers and i had the cart and i went to the first boy and he took off his jersey and pants and jockstrap and set them in the cart, when i looked up to see who it was, it was Tyler Ladner our star quarterback then i looked back down and he had at least a 9 inch cock, i couldn't stop staring but i had to keep going....finally i came to the last two people and they turned out to be Garret McNeil and Michael Kosh....well Michael was first and he threw his stuff in the basket and when i looked down his cock was really big perhaps about 12 or 13 inches long and it was fat and i looked back up to him and he winked at me as i moved on to Garret, when i got to him he took off his stuff real slow so i could see his muscles on his chest then he took off his pants and his cock was bigger then Michaels it had to be 18 inches and about 10 inches thick, well it was time for them to take their showers and it was my job to sit at the door and watch them just in case one of them need something....well as i was sitting their there Michael ask me to come to him, as i walk over to him he told me that he couldn't reach his back and ask me to wash it for him, and i ask him if he was sure and that he couldn't get someone else to do it, but he said no i want you to do it, so i grabbed the soap and his wash rag and went to his backside but then he told me that i couldn't get into the shower with my cloths on so i had to take them off then he looked me down and up and told me that i had a nice size dick and a great body and for me to get started real slowly....i touched his back with the rag and i could feel his muscles start flexing and as i washed his back he ask me to get his ass so i moved down my hand to his ass and they were so tight i started getting aroused by it and i dropped the soap and as i bent down to pick it up i felt someones hand feeling my ass, then i stood up really fast and turned around to someone feeling my ass and it turned out to be garret and i smiled at him then turned back around and ask Michael if he needed anything else and he looked up at garret and smiled at him then told me no so i gave him his soap back but it slip out of my hand and it fell to the ground and i bent down and when i reached down for it i saw his feet get closer and when i looked up his cock hit me and the face. Then i whipped my face down with my hand and i squanted my eyes cause it kind of hurt but then i felt someones cock touching my ass.....and i was already getting so fucking hard that when i stood back up and handed the soap back to him.....my cock was touching michaels cock and then michael looked down and saw that they were touching then i turned around from Garret grabbing my ass again and i turned to him and ask him if he needed anything too, and he said well i also need my back washed and im like gosh but he said instead of using a rag i want you to wash me with your hand and im like sounds good to me, so i got the soap put it between my hands and soaped up my hands and i put my hands on his muscled back and started soaping up his back and he started to say something but i just finished his sentence for him and went lower to his ass and started rubbing his buns and then i started squeezing them and slapping them, then garret ask me to get inbetween his buns also so i got my hand and went between his buns and i could feel his asshole and i kind of got my finger and went inside of his ass alittle then came back out and i kept going then i got to his balls and then ask if he wanted me to clean his front for him also and he said hell yes and then i started massaging his balls and started stroking his pole till it was all the way hard then he ask me to wash the front of him but with my tongue and i said fuck yea and then i felt another hand reach for my ass....and it turned out to be Michael who was behind me and pushed my head on to garrets neck and i immediately started licking....while michael was behind me washing my back and my ass with his tongue and hands......i kept going with my tongue cleaning till he was fucking shiny as hell. Then still licking garret clean he started jacking off and while i was licking his nipples and he squarted his cum all over his stomach and i look at him for a moment and he said for me to lick him clean and i look at his stomach of his 8 abs of cum and i moved my head closer, stuck my tongue out and started licking up his abs. It actually tasted really good so i kept going then i noticed some more on his cock so i grab his cock and started licking it, with michael licking my ass, then while i was licking garrets cock, garret grabbed me and pulled me back up to him and said the inside of my mouth needs cleaning also so i took my tongue and placed it in his mouth and started kissing him....then the bell rung and coach came in said time to leave and saw us sitting there on each other and then said to michael and garret....well....well....well....taking on the new kids....gosh i miss that..... so we broke apart and dried ourselves off went back to the lockerrooms....nobody was in there so i helped garret and michael put back their cloths on....i went to michael grabbed his underwear and started pulling them up and watching as his cock vanished behind it and then i went to garret and helped him put on his shirt....so i grabbed his shirt and put it over his head and as the shirt was going down i was moving my hand down with it and after the shirt was fully on i leaned in and kissed him and grabbed his cock and said see you tomorrow then went to michael gave him a kiss put my hands in his shorts and told him i never actually got to touch yours and told him that i will see him tomorrow as well and then i left. Then when i finally got down the street....i had forgot my clothes and bag....so i went back and michael and garret had both left by now....and as i went into the lockerroom looking for my stuff....i realized that i took them off in the shower room....so i went to the shower room and found my stuff and looked at my stomach and noticed that i had cum all over it so i decided to take a shower real quick before i went home and as i was taking my shower....someone walk in on me and after what happen awhile ago i wasnt afraid of exposure. Then i opened my eyes and i saw chase leger standing at the doorway looking at me and i felt like dropping to my knees but then i ask what he was doing here and he replied: i always come here after school lets out to work out and im done now but im bout to take a shower, if you dont mind.....and im like sure whatever....so i kept going with my shower and i looked over at chase while he was undressing and then he walk over to the stall closes to mine and turned on the water and step into the water and then faced me and closed his eyes and started rubbing his chest with his hands and his face then grabbed his rag and search for the soap....then he ask if he could borrow mine and i told him sure but he would have to get it himself and he said ok....so he walk over to me reached over me to get the soap and went back to his shower then said damn it my hot water is gone....and i ask him that he could come over to me and use my water and he said ok....then he walked over to me and the shower water spray wasnt that wide so he was basically standing right next to me under the hot water and then started soaping up himself and then ask me if i can get his back and im like sure....i already had to do this today, why not again and then he said wait are you working in the athletic room and i said yup and he said and you had to wash someones back....and i said yup...then he said wow i remember those days....then he said who did i have to wash and i told him michael kosh and garret mcneil and he said damn i didn't think they were and i said what and he said nevermind and just wash my back and then i told him you know what forget this and he said huh....then i grabbed him threw him against the wall and started sucking on his cock and he said damn i didn't think we would do this until later but now is good too.....then he bent down and told me to get on my knees and im like sure so i get on my knees and he pounded my ass real hard...then my phone rang and i got up to answer it and it was my mom and she told me to get home now.....then i go back to chase and told him that i had to go and then i gave him a big kiss and a slap on the butt....then told him bye and that i would see him tomorrow and left.
The next day i get to school and i walk into my first period class and i sit down at my desk and i took out my journal book to write my journal for that class and the journal said if you had any recent good thing happen to you between yesterday and today and explain....and well then Michael kosh and Garret Mcneil are both in my first period class and they both looked at me and i looked back at them and they went and sat down and read the journal and looked at each other and then looked at me and smiled and laughed...then Mrs. Riley walk in and said that we were getting a different seating chart today with different tables also so instead of desk, we are getting tables that seat three and i will be seating you all.....so she sat at her desk and put all of our names on the paper and then got up and stood at the front.....she said ok these people will sit at the back of the class at the back corner: Jake Arceneaux, Michael Kosh, and Garret Mcneil. Then she sat everyone else and she told us that we are doing a project week and some of next week and it is over getting to know one another at your table by living with them for a one week and you will do till everyone has gone to everyones house and that she told us that she already called our parents and told them about this....alright so yall have fun. Well then she said yall get busy on whats going to happen this week. So me, michael, and garret were all sitting at the table deciding and michael turns around and looks to see if anyone was looking and he turned back around and placed his foot under the table and he was wearing flip flops but he took them off and place his foot on my crotch and started massaging it with his foot and garret was sitting right next to me and i got my hand and i placed it in his shorts and started slowly jacking him off. Well then we all noticed that everyone was looking the other way including the teacher and garret leaned in and gave me a kiss and said i say we go to michaels house for the first week then to jakes, then to mine and im like ok sounds good....then the bell rung and they both said see you 7th period. When 7th period came coach decided that we were going to just have fun today by doing whatever and he appointed me the position were i hike the ball to the qb and then he said michael was going to be the qb and im like ok....so i bent over with the ball and he placed his hands under me and started rubbing between my legs and i started getting hard and he reached up and grabbed my cock then said hike....i ran and he threw me the ball and then garret tackled me and inbetween the few seconds of it he quickly kissed me then reached for my dick and said nice. After practice it was time for me to pick up all the stuff and wash them so i got everyones then came to the last two people michael and garret and they were already undressed and threw their stuff in and then hit the shower stalls. I then saw garret get into the stall right next to michael's then quickly why nobody was looking snuck into michaels....then i had to go wash all the laundry.....so i went to the back to start washing the clothes and Tyler Ladner walks in and tells me that i forgot his jockstrap and i turn around to get it from him and as i turned i looked at him and he was completly naked except for the jockstrap and i told him yeah i might need those and he just sat there and stared at me so i grabbed the strap by his waist and slowly started moving it down his thighs and as it went down i could start to see his dick and it was fully erect and i pulled them off all the way and put them in the wash and turned back around and grabbed tyler by the shoulders and threw him ontop of the wash and i immediately started kissing him and grabbing his crotch and then told him thanks....michael then yells for me to come to him....and i said yes....he said i cant get this one itch and im like wheres it at....underneath my balls and i said i get right on it and i kneeled down and started licking his balls while him and garret were kissing and feeling up on one another then i put my mouth around michaels cock and then i got on my knees while i kept sucking him off and then garret got down and put his face in my ass and tongue fucked me and slid two fingers in for about 10 minutes then got his cock and put the head on it on my asshole then shoved it in and i started to cry because it was so fucking big and he inched it in slowly at first till i got used to it and then started pounding me as hard as he could....then michael exploded in my mouth and he sprayed so much i hardly took it all in then he brought me back up to him with garret still pounding my ass and michael started kissing me trying to get most of his cum into his mouth and then i told him that if he wanted some cum that all he had to do was suck on my cock and he kissed me again and then started slowly licked himself down my stomach and to my cock and started sucking me off for awhile then i focused all my attention on garret while he was still pumping my ass....i turned my head around and kissed him again then i felt him tense up and he shot his load right in my ass then slowly backed out his cock and moved down to lick the cum leaking out of my ass.....so i had michael sucking my cock and garret licking my ass and they were both jacking each other off....then tyler ladner came into the shower room looking for michael to tell him something and he opened his stall and saw us sitting their doing our thing and i look at him and at first he looked confused then got a smile on his face and he walk in with us and started kissing me and then michael started sharing our cocks....then i ask him who his partners were in english and he said joey and tyler vilo....and then i said ooooh so you going to have fun with them tonight and he said maybe...then garret got back up and told tyler that it is us three that are partnered up and will be at michaels tonight and tomorrow and the next day, then jakes, then mine....and he told me good luck and then he walk out....then i was really confused and i made michael get up and ask them what he meant by that and michael said well when we find someone new to have we tend to fuck them all night long from sundown to sunrise and i said thats it and their like yea and im like oh ok sure....well than if thats it michael get back down there and suck me off and he did what was commanded to....then i cummed in his mouth then the bell rang and it was time to go home.....so i told them to follow me home so i can leave my truck at my house and just ride with michael and when we got home i pack nine days worth of cloths and then told my mom bye and said see you in nine days and i walk out and got in michael's car in we drove off. While we were on our way back to michaels house, he starts to feel my leg and my crotch then he unzipped my pants and started jerking me off, then we pulled up to a stop light and i immediately leaned over to michael and started kissing him and undoing his jeans and taking them off....then when the light turned green, he pressed the gas and i started sucking on his cock, waiting on the first load, then he tensed up when we got to his house and garret was already there and he got out of his truck and came to the window to see what we were doing and michael told him to hold on just one second and then Garret took out his cock and got on his knees by michaels window and started kissing him and feeling his chest....then michael tensed up even more and shot his load in my mouth and then garret released his load on the side of the car and michael got so mad at garret and im like hold on, i will fix it....then i got out of the car....went to michaels side of the car....got on my knees and started licking it off his car and then i said problem solved...then he told me that his parents were gone for a whole week....so we have the house to ourselves....and im like just how i like it....then he showed me the house and then his bedroom and he said this is the room we will be in an about 10 seconds and im like huh....and he grabbed me and pushed me on the bed and started feeling up on my legs and garret started pulling off my cloths and then michael ask garret if he should bring out the box and garret said ummm yeah now....than garret held me down and michael took out this box and opened it and took out his handcuffs and handcuffed my hands to his bed. Then got ontop of me and and started kissing me and working himself down to my cock then garret sat off to the side and started jacking off watching us....then while michael was sucking my cock i started to tense up and he felt it and quit....then he said everytime you say a word or get a hard-on i will stick this bat up your ass starting at the widest end by inches.....then i just shook my head and then closed my eyes and started thinking about girls and boobs and pussies then garret got up and laid right next to me trying to get me to either say something or get a hardon....then he got his cock and started rubbing it on my face and in my mouth then rubbed his body all over mine...and i tried so hard not to get a hard-on but i couldn't help it and then michael got some oil and rubbed it in my ass then shoved the bat up in there....i was in pain then garret took his hand and started slapping me in the face till i was really red then started tickling me in my sides then i cussed him out about twelve times and then michael shoved the bat twelve more inches. Then garret told michael that i was handling it more than he thought i would, but then he leaned back down over me and whispered in my ear sorry about all this, than kissed me then went back to michael and they started taking each others cloths off then michael got his keys and unlocked the handcuffs and then helped me sit up straight then i told him that, that was the most horniest thing ever than i grabbed his head and kissed him then reached down and grabbed his cock and then started jerking him off real slowly then i worked my way down his chest and started sucking on his cock then garret got behind me and started pumping my ass real slowly....then it started getting dark and michael insisted that we take a shower together then go to bed....after the shower we went back to his bedroom and he said ok lets go to sleep and i told him where we were sleepin at and he said well you and garret are going to be sleepin in my bed and i will sleep in my parents bed and im like ok....so me and garret got into the bed and michael went to his parents bedroom and turn off all the lights....and garret told me if i wanted to watch tv and i told him nah and he said good cause we werent going to anyway....then he said i go right to sleep and im like yeah sure then for some reason he was fast asleep and im like damn...and plus michaels bed is just a twin size bed so its really hard to move around without hitting garret. Then about 3 hours later he startes snoreing as loud as possible and i couldn't sleep so i get up out of the bed and walk out of the room and i go to michaels parents bedroom to see if he was sleepin and i opened the door and he was fast asleep also....so i get into bed with michael and i kind of lay there for a minute then i got closer to him and i threw my arm around him and i moved closer until i was completely against him then i felt that he wasn't wearing any underwear so i moved my hand down and i pulled down my underwear and threw them on the floor then i pressed back up to him and i put my hand on his cock and it got hard really fast and i started to stroke him real slow, then i started kissing his back and then he turns around to me and opens up his eyes and starts to kiss me real slowly then i felt that behind me got lower and i turn around and garret had gotten out of bed and came to this bed and he strips out of his cloths and crawls behind me and starts kissing my neck then i told garret that i wanted his dick up my ass while i suck on michaels cock and he said ok then i licked my way down michaels chest till i get to his cock and start to suck on it then garret puts the head of his dick in my ass and slowly starts to push in....then while i was being fucked and while i was sucking we hear the front door open and hear from someone that We are home boys....and im like ooh fuck its your mom....so we quickly got up put back on our cloths then went to greet his parents and after we talked for awhile his mom told us to go to bed and im like ok....then we get back to michaels room and all get on his little bed which we all have to be turned one way and i chose to be the one everyone else faces....so while we laid there me than michael than garret....they start going to sleep and after awhile i got up and went to the kitchen for a drink of water...when i got in there michaels dad was in there only wearing his underwear as was i but his dad was so fucking hot...now i know where michael gets his good looks....then im like....ohh sorry i just came for a drink and i could tell from the way he was looking at me....the underwear he had on wasn't hidding his big boner and i get to the refrigerator and i bend down to see what there was and there was nothing so i get back up and face him and he was digging under the sink....so i go over to him and i kneel down behind him and grabbed his ass then i grab his underwear and pulled it down then started licking his ass. Then he turns around and pulls me by the hair and makes me suck on his cock for about twenty minutes then he bent me over and pulled down my underwear and he stuck he cock in my ass and started pounding my ass for a few minutes and then he shot his load in my ass....then he sat down at the table we talked for a few minutes and he ask me what me, michael, and garret were up too....and i told him that we were fucking each other and stuff and he was like....really.....and im like yeah....then he told me that he always wanted to fuck his son and then im like ok well why dont you let me go back to bed then come in there and just hit it off with all three of us and he said ok....so i get up give him a big kiss and said to him....see you an a few minutes....then i went back to bed and michael threw his arm around me and then ask me where i went and i told him that i went to get a drink of water and he said it took you 20 minutes to get a drink and im like i was thirsty....then i heard the door open slowly and michael removed his hand from my waist and went back to sleep and i looked over and his dad had came in and looked at me then to his son who was in the middle....then michaels dad went to the foot of the bed and reached under them and crawled up and noticed that he wasn't wearing any underwear, nor garret, or me....then he looked at michaels cock then got out from underneath the covers and came to me and told me that his son has a bigger dick then he does and im like ooooh yeah....then michaels father went back to the foot of the bed and got underneath the covers and then crawled up to michael and grabbed on to his cock and put it in his mouth then i felt michaels hand reach over to me then pulled away from me and went to garrets side of the bed and then noticed that it wasn't us that was sucking his dick....and real quickly got up and found out it was dad that was doing it and without hesitation his dad reach up and started kissing his son then went back to sucking on his cock....then michael turned to me and started kissing me and told me that his dad was sucking his dick and im like well i had it first and hes like huh....i told him thats why it took me 20 minutes to get back. Then he just looked at me for a sec. then started kissing me again then relax again while his hott dad was giving him head....then the next thing i noticed was that garret had come to my side of the bed and crawled up under the covers and grabbed my cock and started sucking it. This went on all night long, then in the morning we all woke up and we grabbed a bite to eat then me, michael, and garret got into michaels car and drove to school.....then michael ask me cause i was in the front seat if i can blow his load before school starts and im like sure.....so i reached down unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock and started sucking on it.....then when we got to the schools parking lot he pulled into his spot and he said ok thats enough jake its time to go and i told him wait one minute and i started to suck faster and faster till he exploded in my mouth....as i took it all in....i leaned over to garret and kissed him and gave him some and then gave michael some.....then michael noticed the clock said 6 o' clock and he then said mother fucker and im like what and then he said we have another hour till school starts.....and then i looked at garret and said well you know you look like you need a good blowjob also.....so i got into the backseat with him, unzipped his pants and pulled out his big cock and started stroking it then started sucking on it.....then michael got into the backseat with us and unzipped his pants and then unzipped my pants and then pulled out his cock and started fucking me as fast and as hard as possible.....after a few minutes garret came in my mouth and then Michael came up my ass....it felt so good.....then one of michaels good friends drove up and parked right next to him and then he got out of van and walk in front of michaels car and saw us and came to the passenger side of the car and got in.....i looked up to see who it was and it was Troy Luce.....and then michael said its about god damn time troy.....and troy said well the guy i have at home started to blow me and i couldn't resist, then michael ask who is the guy you have at home, then troy said Mitchell Robinson and Tyler Ladner and then michael said which one was blowing you and troy said Mitchell and i was fucking tyler.....and then he said to michael who is this....and michael said yeah you know who jake is....and troy said i dont recall....then michael said real tall, the tallest in the school....then troy said damn, you know i always wanted to fuck you last year in Mrs. Grooters class and im like omg me too.....then i ask michael if me and troy could go to his van for a little while and he told me ok....ill just be here fucking someone right next to me....when me and troy got out of the car i looked back and saw michael fucking garret......then i get to troy's van and we both get in to the backseat and with no time to spare he leans in and starts to kiss me and ripping off my cloths....then immediately i start taking off his cloths and kissing his body at the same time.....than i reached for his pants....unzipped them then took them off and then i grabbed his underwear and pulled them off as well....then with his cock hanging their i bent over and started to suck on his cock for a good 5 minutes then he pulled me back up to him and started kissing me and then kissing all the way down my neck and chest then he started sucking on my cock while i layed there then i got my finger and put it in my mouth then reached down and placed it in troys ass and slowly moved my finger in and out of his ass.....then he got up reached in his walet and took out a condom and grabbed my cock then he put the condom in his mouth and slowly sucked on my cock while the condom reached the bottom and then he got on his back and i put his legs on my shoulder and he grabbed my dick and guided it into his ass...when it finally got into his ass....i started pumping him slowly then gradually got faster and faster then i started getting really fast because i was about to shoot and i told him i was and he got up real fast and took the condom off my cock and then placed my cock in his mouth and started sucking real fast till finally i shot in his mouth and he must of had much practice cause he took it all in not one drop got away from his tongue and then i ask him.....so who have you been sucking on and he said Matthew Broussard and Michael Broussard and i get them at the same time one in my mouth and the other in my ass...and then he said that they were doing it again this weekend if i wanted to go.....and then i asked him how long have yall been doing this and he said since about 7th grade.....then i leaned down and kissed troy right on the lips and said i would love to.....and he said great i will tell them you are coming also and i said ok......then i alot of other cars started to arrive so i got out of the van and went back to michaels car and everything switched now michael was taking it up the ass.....then i told them that it was time to go and they both got dressed and got out of the car.....then i gave michael, garret and troy each a kiss and i went off to class.
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maoinkin | | Dude... there is like this thing. It's called the 'enter' key - or 'return' if you're on a Mac.
There are other things, too... we call them 'quotations.' - gasp, what could they be for? Could they be for, oh, I dunno... possibly informing your reader that people are talking?
In the English language, when you're trying to inform said reader that people are speaking, it should look something like this:
"Subject verb predicate," said character.
"Subject verb predicate," said another character.
That is how a sentence is formed. See? Isn't it all spiffy? That's because it's grammatically correct.
Ellipsis (...) are very nice, but they are like chocolate: use them sparsely or else you'll end up a giant, obese hunk of utter cellulite-covered crap.
There is another special key on the computer I would like to point out to you. It is labeled the 'shift' key. It does this nifty little trick. If you hold it down and press a letter, it's suddenly capitalized! Oh, my god! AMAZING!! Could it be that the Almighty God has blessed us with a button that helps the Grammar Nazis of the world be successful for every start of a sentence and proper noun?!
How should I approach the topic of human anatomy?
Well, my dear Cocklover90, I'm not sure if you failed Human Anatomy or if you just seriously delude yourself into thinking that that a human penis could be eighteen inches long and ten inches in diameter, but I have to say that even if it were possible, putting that in someone's ass would probably kill you, either from shock or ripping the lining of the colon and causing you to die slowly by infection or some other painful and disgusting ailment. This is why men shouldn't have sex with horses without risking dying a month later like that one guy. The human penis is normally found in the bracket of five to nine inches.
Okay, back to the grammar.
In the English language we show the possessive form by using an apostrophe - yes, that little dot doohicky thing that's like a quotation mark, but the second dot thing broke up with the first one, leaving the latter cold and bitchy at night. We also use that little loner for contractions - you know all of the "don'ts" and "can'ts" and "I'ms"
Did your parents ever teach you manners? As in saying 'please' and 'thank you' and holding doors open to pretty girls and old people? Well, common courtesy is used in grammar, too. When writing in the first person (that means saying 'I' in the narration) , you let the other subject go first. So if you were a stupid nursery rhyme, telling your story first person, you would say 'Jill and I went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.'
So, my dumb little cocklover90, I suggest you go to any functioning public elementary school and relearn basic grammar and conventions before you try to write anything again, or I will be forced to come after you with a giant grammar book aimed at your head with a grenade launcher.
Because I am a nice person, I have taken the liberty of editing the colossal run-on sentence you call a story. I shall post a link of where you can find it when I have finished. But don't hold your breath for a quick link because there's a shit-load of crap to sort through, and the army of Grammar Nazis have been eradicated by the form of texting and Internet-lingo.
Your Resident Grammar Nazis,
Phylis Foster and Mikael Mania
P.S. Cumfull08, yeah, your name is grammatically incorrect, along with your comment. When you say something is full and make it one word, you only use one L - and don't try to say it's okay because you made the word up. It's not. And, cumfull08, you deserve to be stoned to near-death in the nearest public place for approving of such error-ridden crap.
Though, I assume the reason you enjoyed this incorrect text is because you, too, cannot form a coherent, correct statement. When taking off the G in present progressive verbs, you should add an apostrophe to show that you intended the slang instead of having them assume that your ass lacks intelligence.
P.P.S.
We are going to rant about you on YouTube. You can check for the videos at:
www.youtube.com/phylisphace
www.youtube.com/maoinkin |
cumfull08 | | fuckin hot story man
i fuckin loved it and now my pants are soaked |
Schnuesschen2 | | I laughed so hard as I read your comment maoinkin. I guess I like your sense of humor. Oh well, back to my original intention of a comment. The storyline is amazing! It´s really hot, the only problem is - like maoinkin said - your grammar. You could make me shiver with pleasure just by reading your story, but due to the "wrong words" the story slabs and I don´t feel anything much. If you would use a whole sentence instead of only one word to describe things, it would be much more fun to read. You know, we`re not in school where you have to keep your essay short, but on a gay sex site with a lot of people who want to read dirty stories (including me). However, you should keep on doing this stuff to improve your writing skills, because if you handle that problem you could be great! Your story is really fun and interesting to read.
P.S.: maoinkin, I hope you release a link to the side with the over-worked version soon, I´m looking forward to it. |
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