Submitted by patrick___ last July 21st 2007, 03:07 AM

My eyes roared open in the pitch darkness of my bedroom to a distant shattering of glass and a muffled "FUCK!'

My first thought was 'What the hell was that?' (how typical) before my mind wandered to the more dangerous ideal: WHO the hell was that?

Almost mechanically, I swept my sheets off to reveal my wide, muscular frame. I had worked hard on this body and felt confident enough to say that I was pretty damn hot.

I thought about bringing my gun. Mos